Second Thoughts
by Bleakshow
Summary: You can always have 2nd thoughts, but you don't always get 2nd chances...Bella and Edward's wedding is coming up. But Edward is worried about what is right for Bella, Jake and Bella can't be friends again, and Bella is having second thoughts.
1. Chapter 1: Doubts

A/N: From my Fanlib account. (RIP Fanlib) I didn't make any changes to it,and it's pretty old, so I'm not a superhuman (or vampire) who can write three chapters in a day. Enjoy!

**Jake**

"Bella called again!" yelled my dad from the other room.

I grunted and turned on the TV. He wheeled himself into the living room. "You should call her back" I shook my head and changed the channel.

He sighed. "She's been calling for the past three days, non-stop. She really wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to her." I knew this was a lie. All I wanted was to hear her voice. But I was afraid of what it would tell me. That she chose the leech. That she loved me in a way that wasn't even comparable to the way she loved the bloodsucker. For the tenth time that day, the phone rang.

I knew that my dad was tired of getting telling Bella I wasn't here, so I went to get it. I stared at the phone for a few seconds before picking up. We really needed to get caller ID.

I picked up the phone, but didn't say anything.

"Hello?" Just the sound of her voice was uplifting. I wanted to tell her I loved her. I wanted to ask her to leave the bloodsucker. I had so many things to say, but all I could manage was hello.

"Did you get the invitation?" She asked in a small voice. I wondered if the parasite was with her.

"Yes." I replied coldly.

"Please come." Silence. "I know you don't want to, but come for me."

"You know I can't." Just looking at Bella in her dress and knowing she wasn't my bride would be enough. I didn't want to ruin the wedding because it wasn't mine.

The silence on the other end was long, and I thought I heard whispering in the background.

I broke the silence first. "I have to go." And without even saying bye, I hung up. I didn't even see the point in inviting me to their wedding. It was bad enough that the bloodsuckers were in Forks, never mind that one of them was taking Bella away from me.

I slammed the phone down on the counter and headed outside. I passed my dad on the way out.

"Jake." He was about to say something else, but I didn't hear him. I was already out the door. I tried to calm down and avoid phasing. I didn't want sympathy, and all I could think of was the invitation. I almost decided to go, just so I could phase and destroy their wedding.

I went to my garage, hoping that working on my newest car would calm me down. Examining the car, I realized I would have to get more parts. I groaned. That meant driving to town with the possibility of seeing Bella or the bloodsucker, or even worse, Bella and the bloodsucker together. I shuddered at the thought. But it was either that or sit at home with nothing to keep my mind off Bella.

Angrily, I slammed the driver's door of my Rabbit as I got in. I drove fast; I just wanted to get the parts and leave. I passed Bella's house on the way. I saw her light on, and despite my promise to myself to avoid distractions, I stopped. I sat in the car for a solid minute, trying to think of what to do. I finally decided to forget her. As I was about to drive to the auto shop, I saw his face in the window. The leech.

And before I knew it, I had turned around and was heading back to La Push. So much for parts. I left the props in the car and slammed the front door when I got home. I went to my room and lay on my bed. I closed my eyes, trying to erase her face from my mind. For about ten minutes, the only sound was the sound of my dad, setting up for the game. I breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm myself down.

**Bella**

Edward turned around and sat down on the bed beside me. I studied his perfect features closely. He looked confused, worried, and even vulnerable for a moment.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Jake."

"Is he here? I need to talk to him!"

Edward slowly shook his head. "He was. But he drove away when he saw me" We both grew silent. I knew I should have felt sad that my best friend couldn't come to my wedding, but I couldn't think of Jake when Edward was here. It seemed selfish and cruel, but it's not like I could help it. Absorbed in my own thoughts, I suddenly realized that Edward was watching. He looked worried.

"Look, I have to go anyways… I'll see you later" And before I could ask him to stay, he was gone.

Now that he was gone, everything that I should have felt before caught up with me.

I loved Jake. He loved me. But Edward and I loved each other more. At least Jake would stop loving me if I became a vampire. Or so I hoped. I had chosen Edward, and that was the end. Guiltily, however, I still wanted Jacob, no matter how much I hurt him. But he didn't want me anymore. Our phone call was clear proof. His side of the conversation had shown it. His short answers, his cold tone. He hadn't even called me Bells.

"I'm going to Billy's for the game!" My dad yelled from the foyer. He didn't know that Edward had been with me.

"Alright…" I sighed and flopped onto my stomach. I was a horrible person. I just wished that there was a clear choice. I wanted Edward, but I wanted Jake too.

My computer beeped and I looked over at it. It was an email from Renee. It was extremely long, but I decided that it would keep my mind off other things.

But despite my best efforts not to think about my complicated love life, I almost told my mom about the wedding. I finally gave up on concentrating on anything, and lay on my bed.

How could I be having second thoughts about marrying Edward? I was going to be spending the rest of my life (possibly even eternity) with the love of my life, yet I was still thinking about Jacob. I could almost picture him, his strong arms pulling me up to his warm body. But Edward was an ever clearer picture. His cold lips tracing my collar bone, sending the best kind of chills through my body. I saw him every day anyways, but even when he was gone he still seemed to be with me.

Why was this so hard? Why was it so easy for Juliet to choose? Was she torn between Romeo and Paris? I highly doubted it.

**Edward**

I sat by the window, watching the tiny raindrops hit the window and drip towards the sill. It had hardly been raining a minute ago, and the drops were getting bigger, each one seeming to tap against the glass louder than the one before. That was Forks for you.

I though about Bella's strange behaviour today. She had been thinking hard. Sometimes, I think I would give up reading minds if only I could see what she was thinking. Just her. My one and only. I was so used to knowing everything about everyone, and when she came along, I had never felt so weak. I love her more than words can express. I wanted the best for her, yet I didn't seem to be thinking about what was right for her. Why couldn't she have picked Jacob? She could have led a normal, human life. I had tried to push her away, but it just made it worse.

"A penny for your thoughts" I turned around to see Alice standing by me.

Startled, I made up the quickest excuse I could think of. "I was just worried about the wedding" She frowned. I hoped it was a believable excuse. Maybe it would even keep her mind on the wedding, and off trying to figure my thoughts out.

It worked. Wedding cakes and flowers, dresses, guests and many other things swirled around in her thoughts, making them extremely hard to read.

"It'll be fine." She reassured me. "I've got everything under control. It's gonna be perfect." She gave me a comforting smile.

"I know." I said. "It's going to be the most beautiful wedding ever. I only expect the best from you." Her beautiful smile was so adorable; it made me want to smile too, despite my troubles. I gave her a thankful hug. But as she pulled away, she looked worried again.

I sighed. "Honestly, I'm not sure this is the right thing."

She gasped silently, mouth open in awe. "Of course it is! You two are perfect for each other."

"I know. I love her so much, and that's why I'm worried." Instantly, all her wedding planner thoughts evaporated, replaced by thoughts of me and Bella. I continued my explanation. "I don't want her to give up her human life for me."

"_But it was her choice. We've all talked about this, and this is what she wants. Isn't it?"_

It is, but sometimes I wish I hadn't come back. Things had been going so well with the Wolf-boy." She hadn't even asked, and I was already answering. Sometimes, I liked to have one-sided conversations, they were definitely faster.

This time however, I let her speak. "Everything happens for a reason Edward, it's destiny, fate, whatever you want to call it; but it's all leading towards you and Bella. Can't you tell it's meant to be?"

"This coming from the psychic that sees how the tiniest change could affect a person's life forever?"

She sighed. My defensive walls had gone up, and there was no way to get through them. Her thoughts snapped back to the wedding. Shaking her head, she left me to stare out into the increasingly hardening rain, all by myself.


	2. Chapter 2: Storm

**Bella**

I shoved my car key into the ignition. The engine sputtered and fell silent. I tried again.This time, the engine didn't even make a noise. The raindrops hitting the windshield got louder and louder.

This had been a bad idea. Why had I decided to talk to Jacob in person today? I sighed.I sat in the car for about ten minutes, trying to think of what to do. I didn't know how long I would be stuck here. I guess until the rains stopped. But that would probably be a while. It was pouring rain, and it didn't look like it would be letting up soon.

Great. Just my luck. I rubbed my hands together to keep them warm. I couldn't even get the heater on. I stared out into the rain. It was raining too hard to see anything. All of a sudden I saw a bright blur moving towards me. It stopped beside me and pulled over. I recognized the car.

"Jake?" I could see him in the driver's seat, smiling. He beckoned for me to get in.Trying to keep myself covered, I slipped out of my truck and into the passenger seat of his Rabbit.

When I got in, I noticed him staring at me. Then I realized I had just soaked his seats.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Jake…" I knew how important this car was to him, he had re-built it himself.

He shook his head, smiling again. "It's fine. It'll dry." I nodded and put my hands beside the heater, grateful for the warmth.

"Want me to warm you up?" Asked Jake, smiling mischievously.

"Jacob!" Iwas shocked.

"Lighten up Bells, I was joking."

"Oh." I looked down, ashamed that I had really thought Jake had actually meant it.

"So, what happened to your car?"

"I don't know, it just wasn't starting up."

"Want me to check it out later?" His eyes fell onto the bracelet I wore. The one with the wooden wolf charm he had carved himself, and Edward's clear heart charm. His smile immediately faded. "Or will the bloodsucker buy you a new one?"

I couldn't understand what he meant. Suddenly I realized he had found out about the new motorcycle Edward had bought me. "Who told you?"

In reply, he shook his head."Where to?" He started up the engine.

"My house."

He drove slower than usual, which was still quite fast. I wish it had been a silent car ride, but it wasn't.

"So, where were you going in this weather?" He asked, smiling his impish smile again.

"Well, honestly, I was going to talk to you."

He scoffed.

"Really, I was!"

"I'm sure you were." Dry sarcasm. Why was he being like this to me? "Because you really care don't you?" He continued.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I looked at him fiercely.

"That you are selfish!"

"Am not!" I tried to keep myself from screaming.

"Mature…" He muttered, staring out the windshield. He was shaking with rage. "And yes you are! You choose the bloodsucker, and then you still call me."

"Because I care!"

"About making me feel bad?" He fumed.

I couldn't take it anymore. "Drop me off at the next phone booth." I ordered. "I'll call-"

"Edward?" He filled in. He had been right, but I wasn't going to let him know that.

"No, Alice. She will pick me up."

"Fine." He started going faster.

"You're going to get us killed!" He mumbled something that sounded like "Better off dead." Had really meant it when he had said that before? I lurched forward, realizing he had stopped. I got out and slammed the door. I ran towards the booth, trying to stay as dry as possible. Finally I got into the booth.

I slumped against one of the walls. Jacob was right. I was selfish. I didn't care about him. And I couldn't even admit it.

**Jake**

She got out of the car and I flinched as she slammed the door. I watched her walk towards the phone booth.Making a sharp U-turn, I raced back to La Push for the second time that week.

When I got back to my house, the pack was in my living room. They were chatting quietly amongst themselves. But as soon as I came in, they were silent.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." Igave them a silencing glare. Emily looked as if she was about to say something, but decided against it. They could all tell I was angry.

The hot water relaxed me, and I just stood until the water ran out. When I got dressed and came back down,everyone had left except Sam and Emily. I could tell from their facial expressions what they wanted. Obediently, I sat down on the couch and looked at them.

"Jake, you need to forget about Bella" Sam started.

"We know you love her, but she's getting married soon. You won't be able to love her any more" Emily continued.

For some reason, this made me mad; them telling me to stop loving Bella. "I can love anyone I want for aslong as want." I snapped, getting up.

I don't know how angry I looked,but it must have been pretty bad because Emily looked scared. Sam saw this and gave me such a fierce glare that I had no choice but to sit down.

"I've already had this conversation with Leah." I pointed out. "It didn't help, so what makes you think you guys will be any different?" Emily and even Sam looked hurt. I knew it was a low blow, but it seemed to be true.

Shaking his head, Sam tookEmily's hand. As he dragged her out the door, she turned to me "We'll be at my house if you want to talk" she said, smiling.

I nodded and sighed. The rain was still pounding against the windows. I sat and listened to it. For once, I was numb. I wasn't thinking of Bella or anyone for that matter. Maybe Sam and Emily had helped. I would have to apologize to them later.

Maybe this meant I was over Bella. I relaxed, enjoying thinking about other things other than Bella for once.

**Alice**

'_Please insert 25 cents.' The small words flashed across the screen; under the number Bella had just dialed. Her hands dug in her pockets until they found a quarter. She put it into the slot and stuffed her hands in her pockets, holding the phone between her shoulder and ear. _

"Alice?" Jasper asked. "What did you see?"

"Bella." I sighed.

"Is she alright?" He looked worried

"She's calling us…"

"Why?"

I shrugged. I hadn't even seen where she was. Only that she had been in a phone booth. I was worried, yet relieved. She had seemed fine, but if she was calling us from a phone booth instead of from her house, something wasn't right.

As I had predicted, the phone rang.

"Bella?" I asked, tense.

"Yeah. Can-"

"Are you alright? Where are you? Do you need help?" I fired before she could finish her question.

Bella laughed. It was a quiet, weak laugh; but a laugh none the less. "Yes. Don't know. And yes. Can you pick me up?"

"Well, I can't pick you up if I don't know where you are" I said.

"Um… I'm somewhere at the edge of town" She seemed hesitant to tell me where she was.

"Do you want me to drive a circle around town looking for you?" I pointed out sarcastically.

She sighed. "I'm near La Push" She whispered. "Don't tell Edward, please"

"Fine. I'll be there soon."

As I got into the Volvo, I wondered what had happened to her truck. The old truck had probably broken down. Edward had offered to buy her a new car on many occasions. I guess he knew that this was going to happen soon.

Finally, I got to the place where Bella had told me she was. I pulled up to the phone booth that she was in and she got in.

Bella was quiet the whole ride. I could tell she was upset, so I didn't say anything. I would talk to her later. Finally, we got to her house.

"Bye." Bella got out and thanked me.

"I'll talk to you later Bells." I told her.

I drove home as fast as I could, hoping Edward wouldn't notice I had been gone. But, just my luck, I had a vision in which he was waiting for me at the door. I racked my brain trying to think of an excuse. I hoped I could make it believable.


	3. Chapter 3: Argument

**Jasper**

When Alice got back, Edward looked really mad. At least he was off my back. He had been asking me, nonstop where Alice had gone. I had answered truthfully, that I didn't know. But him being a mind reader, he found out everything that I knew. Including that Bella was involved.

As soon as she came in, soaking wet, Edward glared at her. "Where were you?" He asked, sternly.

"You're not my dad." Alice replied. She knew that Edward would never hurt her and Edward knew she wasn't going to tell him. He sighed. "And where is Bella?"

As soon as he said Bella, Alice glared at me. Edward's back was to me, but I knew he was probably smirking. I help up my hands.

"So _I_told him? Let's not jump to conclusions here." I said in defence. With a silencing look, Alice turned back to Edward.

"She's at Charlie's of course." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And how did she get there?" Edward asked. I sniggered as quietly as possible, not wanting Edward mad at me too.

"She dug an underground tunnel. How do you think she got there?" Retorted Alice. It was the funniest thing, this little girl talking back to Edward, who looked as if he could beat a bear in a cage match. Though it was extremely entertaining, I had to calm them down.

Edward whipped around angrily. He had found out whatever it was. He looked pretty mad, must have been pretty bad. Alice grabbed his arm as he headed towards the door. "Leave her alone!" She demanded. Edward shook her off and kept walking. Alice just stood, knowing she couldn't stop him. I wanted to ask where Bella had gone, but I knew better.

As soon as he left, she looked at me sternly. "Why'd you tell him?"

"I told you, I never told him anything!" I replied sincerely.

"And stop trying to calm me down!" She snapped.

I nodded and stopped, not wanting her angrier than she was. This seemed good enough for Alice, and she dashed upstairs, frustrated. Before she left, I heard her mutter "Stupid, mind-reading, vampire brother."

**Edward**

It wasn't late, so I decided to just go through Charlie's front door. Bella had probably closed the window because of the rain. And besides, if Charlie didn't see me visit Bella at least once, he would get suspicious.

As usual, Charlie answered the door. "Hello Mr. Swan." I said politely.

"Edward." He replied coldly, trying to acknowledge my existence as little as possible. "Bella is showering. Why don't you wait downstairs with me?" He actually meant "_Wait downstairs. I don't trust you with Bella."_ I nodded and took my soaked jacket off, hanging it on the rack.

I stepped into the living room, dripping all over the carpet. Charlie sat back comfortable in his recliner and I perched on the edge of the couch. He was watching a sitcom, and his eyes were glued to the TV screen. But during the commercials, he glared at me; not even trying to hide it.

Finally, Bella came downstairs in a bathrobe, hair in a towel. "Charlie, what do you want for-" She saw me and she blushed. "Oh, um… Edward, I didn't know you were coming" She dashed upstairs to change.

So once again, I waited. When she finally came downstairs, she went into the kitchen. I followed.

"I haven't heard from you all day Bells…" I began slowly.

"I was busy"

"With what?" I continued non-chalantly.

"Oh, Just stuff" Her back was turned to me, but I knew that she was blushing.

"Did you go anywhere?" Silence. She was probably thinking whether I knew about La Push or if I had asked that by chance. She turned around to get something from the cupboard. All of a sudden, she tripped; almost dropping the plates she had been holding. I took the plates from her, but didn't help her up. She got up herself, blushing a bright crimson.

"I'm making soup. Can you dice?" She said. For a few minutes the small kitchen was silent except for the sounds of our knives chopping and dicing, as well as the television.

"I know about La Push." I suddenly blurted out.

Once again, Bella blushed and I wondered if I would see her actual skin tone tonight. "I'm sorry Edward. I had to! Jake-" I held up my hand and she stopped talking.

I put down my knife and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Bella, I don't mind that you are visiting Jacob. But I'm worried about your safety." She nodded.

"Just so you know, I never got to La Push." She said.

"As long as you're safe." I told her.

"At least you didn't actually see him." I muttered. It must have been louder than I thought because Bella stopped chopping and blushed yet again. And I had a feeling it wasn't due to my concern about her safety.

"There's something you're not telling me Bella" I said slowly. She shook her head defiantly. I smiled mischievously, inching closer to Bella. With one swift, sudden movement, she was pressed against my body. I couldn't feel her, but I bet she was warm and soft, just like I remembered my mother. I traced her collar bone with my lips and I thought I felt her shaking. As she leaned in to kiss me, I pulled away.

"Tell me first." I grinned.

Bella glared at me and wrung her hands. She bit her lip. "I met Jake on the way." She admitted. "He drove me to a phone booth. So I called Alice to pick me up."

I nodded. "But please Bells, leave Jacob alone. He obviously doesn't want to talk to you." It came out harsh. "I mean, what if he gets mad? He could lose control and hurt you." I imagined Emily Young, and the same thing happening to my Bella. I couldn't live with myself if I could have stopped it, but I didn't.

I could tell she thought I was worrying too much. She was trying to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Jake would never hurt me!" She practically screamed. I hadn't been accusing her, but she thought I was. After that, an uneasy silence settled. Once again, the only sound was the sound of chopping and boiling.

Something felt wrong. It was silent. A silence that was tense and didn't feel right. I felt sick, nauseous from the sudden realization that Charlie had heard our argument. He had muted the game to listen to Bella and I bicker!

I stopped chopping before I cut through the table and took a few deep breaths. Then, reasonably clam, I continued chopping and dicing and cutting.

**Bella**

The rest of the night was silent. Edward didn't stay for dinner. As soon as we finished making the soup, he practically ran out. Was he really that mad at me?

"Bella, are you okay?" Charlie interrupted my thoughts. I looked up from my full bowl.

"Yeah" I answered too quickly. It sounded unconvincing, even to me.

"Honey," Charlie awkwardly leaned forward and placed a big, rough hand on my arm. "I know what happened today" I gasped. He knew? He knew that Edward was a vampire? That Jacob was a werewolf? Great. That gave him even more reason to hate Edward.

My throat was dry and scratchy. "So you know that Edward…" I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

Charlie looked at me curiously. "Doesn't like Jacob Black" He finished. I tried to stop myself from laughing or sighing in relief. If only he knew!

He looked confused. I just smiled. "Yeah. Well, we've sorted everything out now." He tried to look relieved, but I knew he secretly wished that we hadn't.

The rest of dinner was silent and awkward. The phone rang all of a sudden and I jumped up. "I'll get it!" I shouted, eager to get out of the kitchen.

I managed to get to the phone safely without tripping. It was Angela. We talked about school and other things while I put away the dishes. She said she had to go, so I went upstairs and tried to do my homework. But before I knew it, it was ten o'clock and I hadn't gotten much done. I was just too distracted.

I glanced over at the phone. Should I call? What if he didn't come over tonight? I turned on my CD player as loud as possible, trying to drown my thoughts out.

Somehow, despite all my muddled thoughts, I managed to fall asleep.

I had the most confusing dream too. Edward and Jake were arguing, and I was standing in the middle. I told them to stop, but they ignored me. Suddenly, Jake turned into a wolf, and Edward stiffened. They circled around me, glaring at each other. Then, at exactly the same time, they both leapt towards me.


End file.
